To be completely honest, I have no problem going bald. My hairline has been receding since late high school, and I knew it was coming. Forget the mother’s-side story, everyone male in my family is bald. Depending on which side of the family you get determines your fate: Either a receding hairline that thins on top, or a balding crown. My brother and I each got one. He got the bald patch. He’s almost 21 and it’s starting for him too, but he isn’t happy at all.
Stress plays such a huge role in it. I don’t think people realise how badly, but in 2006, my entire head changed. It was a very stressful year and it clearly showed. 2005 – hair, 2006 – no hair. It’s weird though, you turn 18 and your hair on your head starts behaving bizarrely. You hit 24, and the new “style” has set in and the lack of hair on your head starts sprouting in other places you always hoped it wouldn’t. Your nose (and in some cases, ears), must be jealous of your face. Your chest becomes a lovely persian rug, and soon your stomach adds an extension. And, in possibly the worst turn of luck, this extension crawls it’s way round to the back. But like I said, I have no problem with balding.
I do, however, have a problem with maintaining the way it looks. If i just let it do it’s own thing, the sides grow faster than the top, and then I end up looking like a fricking clown. Not ideal. Cutting the sides occasionally let’s the top grow. Which takes about 17 years before there’s anything there, and even then it’s looks strange. So I took the initiative – I bought a set of head clippers – and I now shave it once a week with no level setting on it. I guess that means #0? Anyway, I don’t like shaving my face with a razor either, I hardly ever do, so I do the face at the same time. So, once a week, I sit in our little garden, on the chair, with broken mirror in hand. It takes about half an hour because perfection is never rushed. It’s been going like this for 4 months now, and I think it looks good.
But now, it’s getting tiresome. I’m getting lazy. And it’s going to start looking shit. So, the question is being asked: Is it time to shift to the razor and cut it all. To the bone. It really does make a huge difference. I mean, look at a little face stubble compared to completely shaven. HUGE difference. If you look at the celebs that do it, It’s a bit of a bit of both. They all work. Even Natalie Portman still looks hot.
I touched on bad hairstyles in the last post, and now, I must say that there are certain bald looks to avoid. This is not a suggestion, this is a must. Three that come to mind:
- The Clown Look – I have already spoken about this. You do not want to look like a clown. Actually, maybe you do, but that’s your decision. You look ridiculous.
- The Comb Over – As infamous as it is used. For many years, my grandfather had one. It doesn’t change a thing. We all know and see you have no hair. One mild breeze, and there is this really strange looking piece of hair flailing on the one side, sticking up like an aerial. Unless you’re trying to pick up radio, embrace the baldhood. CUT IT.
- Toupee – I think this speaks for itself. It looks silly. When I think toupee, I think Ted Buckland from ‘Scrubs’. He is the most insecure person on the ‘planet’. He uses it once or twice. And it’s hilarious every time. As in life, as it is in ‘Scrubs’. Hilarious.
[On a side note, Scrubs is my all time best TV show. Ever.]
And now, here we sit. Don’t worry about going bald, it really doesn’t change much, and the girls will still come. (So I hear). If you’re THAT self-conscience about it, get plugs, or whatever else they offer these days . The question now, however, is what you do with it. Let’s not be silly, keep it short and sweet.