You know ladies, despite what you may think, it isn’t the easiest thing being a guy.  Or rather, not a nice one.  It is much easier being an ass, sleeping around, making a name for yourself with the boys.  The fucked up thing is that this is the type of guy that all the girls want.  Or at least, it appears this way.  I have no idea why, but they never seem to learn.  Maybe it has something to do with their insecurities and blah blah blah and whatnot, but I can say with 93.4% certainty that us nice guys would give that girl a better night.

A friend recently told me that nice guys finish last.  Ah yes, the old adage that every nice guy clings to to give himself an excuse.  But, we’re all grown up now, we’re not 16.  The girls have also grown up now and make better decisions and realise how silly they were in their youth. Ha ha, if only.  The thing is, though, nice guys do finish last. But that’s if you’ve been looking at it the wrong way.  You’re seeing it as the 100m sprint, or more appropriately, a T20 cricket match.  No people, this is the Test match arena. The ultra marathon time.  If you are a nice guy, and I mean, a sincere and honest nice guy, the chances are pretty damn good that you finish that marathon with the gold.  And if you pick up a few trophies along the way, then well done.  You see, even my friend was wrong.  He got the girl.  The girl that was seeing him.  While she was dating her boyfriend of two years.  Hmmmm, he is my friend, but doesn’t that situation stop him being a nice guy?


I was officially bootie called tonight. I had turned off my lights, was quite ready for sleep, until the overly loud cell phone said otherwise.  I went there because I thought I needed to snap out of this trance I’ve been in lately where I’m expecting things to just drop into my lap, but maybe it had?

[I think I should interject and give you a brief background of Jessica* and I.  We hooked up a few years ago while I was in and out of a relationship, and it sort of continued around like that.  But you know how girls are, [*snigger*], and she soon wanted more where I was not in a position to give it to her. So things ended, and ever since then, she has always attempted to hook up, but as I had a girlfriend, that was never going to happen.]

Cue single life. And it was time to start being single.  Off I went to Jess’ house, where she still stays with her parents, mind you, at the age of 22. Now, being a nice guy, I make chitchat, and wait for her to make the first move, which she does.  After some heavy petting, and a few fingers being misplaced, she was quite content with the decision she had made.  But that’s when things got weird. You know how you just know. Well I knew. She was right back to wanting more again.  Now, because I am a nice guy, I chose to leave it at that, and not try to do anything else.  Maybe this was more of a self preservation thing.

I didn’t go over there to be a dick, fuck and run. I enjoy what I do, so I do it well, but I don’t expect the girl to fall in love with me because of it. And don’t get me wrong, there was no sex, but then why was she like this?  Yes, I am a genuinely nice guy.  No, I really don’t have any ulterior motives.  But please stop and think.  I do not want anything serious. Full stop. The thing is though, I wasn’t freaked out, surprised, or anything.  I simply handled the situation, let her feel whatever she had to feel, made more non-sensical chitchat, and when she was ready for sleep, I left.

I had a bit of time to think on the drive home, and I’m not feeling shit about it, or bad in anyway.  I think I really needed to do it for myself, and even though nothing came out of it, I think it’ll help with me learning how to do this whole single life thing.  Is that selfish?  I don’t care anymore.  This time is my time, I do what I have to do.  So, despite the convenience of having a bootie call when you need it, your selection needs to be right first time.  I mean, what’s the point of a bootie call if you’re not getting anything out of it. It should be hot, and sweaty and full of moans and you leave with a smile.   I don’t feel like an ass, and I hope she realises that if she calls again, I will have to tell her ‘no’ because there are feelings involved.  That is the sensible thing to do, ’cause I’m a nice guy…

* No names were changed in this post to protect the privacy of those above-mentioned subjects.   Jessica is actually her real name