Friendships are strange things. I have some-600 friends on facebook and I predominantly try only add friends if I could actually sit down and have a drink with them. I should actually go through and cut some ties. There is this one guy that has added me a couple of times and each time I reject it. I don’t like him. We are not friends. Doesn’t he get the hint? But, strong friendships generally take a while to get going, and friendships are incredibly special. They keep us going through the worst times and make the good times even better. Good, good friends are hard to find and when you have them, you should do what you need to to keep them close by. Friends of the opposite sex are even better sometimes because it gives it that balance that you need. Going out with the guys is great of course, but you need that other side. Well, at least I do. I think this is the case whether or not you are in a relationship. And we all know how great friends are just after a breakup. That is the best antidote for a breakup and not all that other clichÃ© crap. But what happens when that friendship hits a different tone?
of or associated with the Greek philosopher Plato or his ideas.
€¢ ( platonic) (of love or friendship) intimate and affectionate but not sexual : their relationship is purely platonic.
Picture this: Mary and John have been great friends for 3 years. They have both been in and out of relationships throughout the time but now Mary has just been dumped by her boyfriend and she and John are sharing a bottle of wine to try feel better. Mary is feeling sad, lonely, bitter, and hates men. John is feeling horny. (Do not assume this is any different from the way he normally feels). Mary bitches about men, bitches about how badly she has been treated, and John consoles her. John gets up to go to the loo, and as he does, Mary catches a whiff of John’s cologne – The same cologne he has worn for years. It grips her chest and she let’s it hang on her thoughts as it slowly dissipates. She really can’t explain it but suddenly she finds John attractive. Had these feelings been there before? She didn’t think so, and it kinda freaked her out a little. The rest of the night finishes without any incidence.
Platonic relationships obviously happen all the time, but are they really really that? Can two people of the opposite sex truly be good friends and neither one develop feels for the other? I don’t believe so. I think at one point or another, one person will have some inkling to hold the other down and kiss them ’til they like it.
It is very important to know which side of the fence you’re on. Why? There are so many reasons.
Because you’re trying so damn hard to be friends with your ex. Does he realise she still have such strong feelings for him? She makes him think they’re not there just so they can stay close, only to be hurt later.
Because you’re sharing a flat with your best guy friend from varsity and all of a sudden you have a Mary and John situation and that is super complicated.
Because she thinks that he’s a really nice guy, just ’cause he is, not realising that he thinks the world of her, and basically wants to pin her down and do amazing things to her with his tongue.
Because you might not even realise it, but your best opposite-sex friend might just have eyes for you, but you were too blinded by the fact that that possibility was just too ew. And maybe, just maybe, you have those same strange feelings boiling around inside.
Another complexity arises when you think you should do something about these feelings. You shouldn’t. Put them away, ’cause there are two realistic outcomes.
1. You wake up the next day, naked, and next to one of your good friends. Awkward
2. You get the balls to finally try kiss her and she pulls away with a strange look on her face. Awkward.
Both cases leave you in a very uncomfortable situation. Of course, there is the possibility that you end up dating and spend the rest of your lives together.
We had this discussion over dinner the other night, and not one person agreed with me. That means they’re saying they could have completely platonic relationship with all their friends. Forever. I don’t buy it. So, I haven’t quite decided how I exactly feel about it. Talking to more people, and seeing the relationships I’m in, have made me realise that after a certain amount of time, it would move from a lusting over someone, to actually wanting to really be with someone. I look at my closest girl friends now, and I would never consider doing anything with them, but that doesn’t include how each of us used to feel, or how we might feel in the future. I’m not saying you can’t be friends with someone, because very often, these little crushes are over by the time that you’re that close, but there must be a reason we’re not really friends with our exes, as much as we’d like to think we are. Friendships are funny things. Work at them when you can, because they will be worth more to you than anything else. Don’t ruin one for a quick shag, but then again, it might be totally worth it if your best friend is the girl of your dreams.