Just to update you – I decided I would be myself and just talk to him. Turns out that although he isn’t into a serious thing right now (awesome, I wasn’t asking for babies) he isn’t the type to just get physical either.

So I’m chilling out about it, what happens happens. What doesn’t happen, thats okay too.

I wasted a long time on someone who played me (whether intentionally or not, he still played me) before realising that it wasn’t going to happen. And I tried the jumping him approach once, admittedly I was a bit trashed, but it didn’t go well at all.

Shy only gets you so far, and while I’m all for girls making the first move, guys should also put in some of the effort and at least pick up signals or put out signals if they want to get anywhere.

So Guest Chick, I say put out some really, really clear signals, give him a last chance to take the bait, and if he still doesn’t get it, then throw that fish back in the water and find another one that isn’t afraid to bite!

You don’t have to “jump him” as such, just find some quiet time and have a serious talk with him. Make sure he knows that you are interested, but that it won’t mean the end of your friendship if he isn’t.

“Unless you move your bed into the closet, turn off the lights and take it up the bum… i don’t see this working”

Chin up, and good luck.

ps… BC, we’re just girls. We might bite.. but if in the right place, it’s pretty good.

she is going to waste time with this guy if things carry on the way they do… banana, they have shared a bed… the dude is certainly not shy…

i know that in one situation i was in with a guy who claimed to be shy it was true, he was shy… but he wasnt shy with me… not in the least… that’s why i am saying that miss anon should just walk away… before she gets too involved and ends up getting upset… it’s a waste of energy and can destroy friendships for unimaginable amounts of time…

dont be angry at my aggression, i am giving her my tough love… you know it comes from a good place

@latvia – Your aggressive tactics made me a little angry. What if he really IS that shy? It happens. I used to be *very* shy, and even now, I can’t approach a girl and talk to her.

Understandably, if she wants to keep her old-school tactics, then so be it, but surely there has to be a limit? Us nerdy folk are sometimes very uncomfortable with intimate situations, and just require a little push. I know this is very general, so I think you need to take each situation on it’s own merits.

There are two things that will happen with your method (If he likes her):
1. He comes back fighting hard
2. He’s too shy and let’s it fade, which is worse. I’ve been guilty of this in the passed. Sometimes I haven’t been smart enough, or even knew exactly what I was looking for until it was too late.

I don’t think it’s a situation that can only be judged by Miss Anonymous.

Maybe keep hinting and flirting – ‘Til you’re blue in the face, and he’s blue in the, well, you get the picture.

I am a fellow female who has been through what you are dealing with at least twice so will put it down for you in plain and simple speak…

DROP YOUR SHIT AND RUN… ok wait… let me rephrase that… have you heard of the book ”he’s just not that into you”? well i suggest you go out and buy it… trust me… i dont want to be mean and say he’s NOT that into you but honestly and truly he should have swooped in for the kiss by now and seeing as he hasnt one must assume that either he is a complete and utter prat or he is just not that into you… which essentially means he is a complete and utter prat anyway.

you seem like a well put together, intelligent, sweet girl who has most unfortunately fallen for one of those overly sexy nerdy types that we all know and love… thing is, i think we fall for them more (not only because they are so damn delicious)… but because we assume they will not use and abuse us… that they are lacking just enough in social graces that they will not coax us into a false sense of security and then drop us in a second like so many of the less intelligent (dare i say it) jock boys tend to do… the problem is they are still men and are still run by mainly by testosterone…

what i am saying really is not that this guy doesnt like you AT ALL but just that you deserve better than some twit who doesnt have the balls to give you a simple kiss… you deserve someone who wants to kiss you every minute… kissing is very important… sometimes even more intimate than sex… so yes… drop your shit and run… and who knows, mr sexy nerdy man might get the fright of his life, man up and start running after you a little harder

latvia out*

ps – agreed mister neal does look ”hawt”… nice one banana