Everything in life can be measured by failure and success, whether it’s business, love, social acceptance, anything really. The difference comes in as to how you measure it, but that is never easy. It all really depends on your reference points. Let’s look at love, for example: I date a girl for 4 years and it breaks down and we end things. This is a failure from my side if I never wanted to end things, but if someone my age looks at it, someone who has never held down a relationship for longer than a month, then it could be perceived as a success.
I have not been feeling myself for the past few weeks, and I’m not really sure why yet. Pretty sure it’s a combination of things as a whole, as it most often is, but that doesn’t mean I should be beaten. However, the most pressing issue eating at me right now is failure.
Twitter has shown me a lot of things, and one of those things is how bloody successful a lot of young South Africans are. Don’t get me wrong, these people have worked damn hard to be where they are, (I presume so anyway), and we should all be so lucky to have that skill and motivation to get there. I haven’t had the easiest road along the way, but I hate talking about it, so I won’t. I suppose this is my second chance now. It’s a chance I have made myself, but I already feel it slipping away.
I have always wanted to study further. UCT didn’t work out, and after that I need to work to, well, live. I now have a full-time job that I love, but pays peanuts. I would love to do something else, but really don’t have the qualifications behind me to do it. So here I currently sit, enrolled at Unisa, taking way too many modules than I can handle, too tired from work to be able to do them all. My motivation has slipped away because of the lack of energy. I’ve hit my brick wall.
A few weeks ago, I thought I had found my motivation to move again. The Mail and Guardian released their annual 300 young South Africans to have lunch with. There are names of people in there that I know, and some of which I’ve met. I wanted to be them. So I used that slight motivational push to try get to my 30 June deadline for half of the modules due for this year. I tried hard, really hard, to sit down and get some work done, but I had left it too late, and stopped trying a week before. Looking at it, I guess I could have not slept for a week, handed in crap, and got it done, but working 10 hours a day really takes it out of you.
Someone once told me that I don’t need to study – That I am smart enough to go as far as I want. At times I believe it, but without being able to prove myself in practice, and before we start mailing Video CVs around, the fact that it ends after high-school is pretty much a deal breaker. So, I suppose the question is, “What do I do now?”. Do I keep trying at the Unisa thing, with less modules each year, or do I stop and see what happens? I’m not the type to string up revolutionary ideas that will change the world, so until I get the most amazing brain-strike, that isn’t an option either. Maybe I’m subconsciously waiting for that one opportunity I can attack full on, whatever that opportunity may be. Or, do I try and make something appear? Fear of failure defeats success, and when you think you’re already failing, it’s a bad combination.
I’ve been trying to find a reference point to make what I’ve done look like a success, but that has proven futile. But this weekend has given me renewed energy, I have started to feel more of myself again, and I will not be dragged down. So, I suppose I have to wait and see what happens, where this road goes… C’est la vie et ici nous allons – Que le voyage commence!
Some of the best people have no qualifications, you just have to find your thing. Be open to the wild and wacky ideas, sometimes they are the best.
I struggle with the same dilemma. I haven’t stopped studying and never seem to get anywhere, but I value acquiring knowledge beyond anything! I keep hoping that one day it will become clear what I need to do and where I need to focus. I am positive that anything is possible, as long as you are able to recognise opportunities and dive in head first. Fortune favours the brave and all that jazz! Good luck I hope your path becomes clearer!
Methinks you know the answer …
Study. Study. Study. It’ll be so worth it in the long run. My X studied for 11 years part time through Cape Tech and Unisa and is now a partner at a big 5 accounting firm. All those years of pain have paid off big time.
Me? I never studied and I regret not having any qualifications behind my name. Sure, I’ve managed to create a life for myself despite that but how much easier would it have been if I’d had the education upfront instead of having to learn on the fly?
As for success, don’t make the mistake of thinking that it’s all about fame and money. I’m not saying you are but once you’re over the early years of gathering as much of that as you can, you kinda get over “stuff” and re-prioritise to include happiness and contentment as measures of success.
I think we’d all be able to classify ourselves as failures if we only dwelt on things that didn’t work out according to plan. That’s not the best way to view supposed failures, hey? Noooo. These are only wonderful opportunities to take a good long look at what we really want and create the plans needed to get us there. Our “failures” are doors to new ways of looking at and doing things that reflect what we *really* want out of life.
If you want to study, DO IT! Re-evaluate the modules you’ve signed up for, set some realistic goals and make it happen!
xxx
I’m not going to give an individual response, it’s not necessary, but thank you guys… Some changes need to be made…
Could you just blog again already please?
Damnit.
Told you I’d find you…
I holding on to this post. This one was for me, for this moment! I measure success and failure pretty much the same way you do/did (six months ago).
Right now in my life Unisa has to take the backseat for a short season, not because I want it to, but because I don’t have an alternative.
You are so wise for your years!
I do really think it’s a phase we go through. At least, I hope so. Our 20s are still settling into life times, so these are the types of things we need to learn about.
Like I’ve had to do, let Unisa come back when the time is right…
And I am just as wise as you – Aren’t you younger than I am?
I was very close to giving up yesterday, but I have re-evaluated the situation and in all honesty I cannot afford to give up. Right now I need to push through and make it work!
I do however think I need to stop putting all my eggs in one basket!
Think I’m a year or two younger than you:)