People are funny. Especially young, single people. Generally, people in their earlyish 20s don’t really know what they wan’t out of life, let alone out of a particular person. I’m not saying I do, I’m just at a much better place where understanding of myself and what I want is a little easier.
Going out recently, I did some observing. Now, I know every club is different, but this is still very applicable. It’s funny when you’re the only sober person amongst the booze filled drones. You see things you wouldn’t normally see. You notice how desperate some people are for tail. It’s different when you’re in the chase. When you’re all completely smashed. You really only have one agenda.
The guys think they can get away with anything. I look at the dance floor and there are a lot of guys touching girls. But the girls like it. I see the drunkest guy approach a girl. He splashes her with his drink. He says she’s too hot. He then walks away. It’s corny, and sleazy. She loves it. Her and her friend go all giddy. It’s ridiculous.
The guys are like hawks. They stand around the circular dance floor. Some hunt in packs, others just lurk. They stare, presumably looking for a target. It’s all quite primitive. I’m waiting for them to pull out a club, bang a few on the head, and drag them towards the door by their hair.
Yes, yes, I know it’s difficult being single. I know people deal with it differently. So this is just another way. Maybe I’m just bitter I’m not able to go out and “do the whole random thing”. Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the show from here.
I just don’t find it easy. The awkward ‘how do I approach them? Did she just make eyes at me? What do I do now?’. It’s just the way it is. Confidence is everything. Mine just comes out at different times, in different situations. If I wanted, I could have any girl here. But do I? Could I really? What is the point of taking some drunk random home. She doesn’t know me. She’s doing it because she’s drunk. Yes, it might be fun, but could it really have a future? Never-the-less, there is a time and place for everything.
I came out, not really thinking, not worrying, not trying. I prefer it that way. It means I’m rarely disappointed. In reality it’s never that simple. It all comes back to each individual and really how drunk you are.
I eventually make my way back to my group of four friends. They’re all women tonight. Lovely ladies. Most are single. A drunk chap comes to dance. It’s been making the rounds. I saw him earlier scouting. He grinds heavily against one of my friends and she quickly moves away. So he tries his luck on the next. How do guys get so cocky and arrogant that they think they can do that? He goes around the group, and ends up where he began. He likes the blonde one. So he tries again. She moves away towards me, but I can’t be a boyfriend for all of them. So, I do something I’ve never done before, nor will do again soon. I play the gay guy. The girls then try pimp me off to him. I’m comfortable enough with me to know it’s fun. He’s not interested. I try dance with him but he moves away. I wonder what he doesn’t like about it. Some creepy guy trying to dance with him. He doesn’t get the hint and tries with my blonde friend again. Maybe I don’t make a very good gay man. (Thank goodness). Eventually I tell him I’m not gay, and he should please piss off now. He leaves, dancing, to try his luck somewhere else, and so the cycle continues.
Days later, I now have 2 girls downstairs, crying. They’re staying with us (a housemate). She’s upset about the asshole guys around. I actually find one of the girls very attractive. It’s unfortunate she kissed a friend. I want to go there and try explain that and everything else I’ve just written about, but I hear my name. I have no clue what I did. I ignore it but keep a keen ear open. She’s sad she’s single. She has been single a while. She wants the companionship. Blah blah blah. We’ve all been there. But this is just a symptom of it all. It’ll continue and everyone will keep dating not really knowing what they’re looking for until they think they’ve found it.
I’m not criticising. Really. We all have our own ways of being single. I just think some people’s ways are interesting. I just can’t get drunk and kiss the nearest person next to me. I’m sometimes envious of the people that can. But I have things they can’t do, and I’m excited I might get to show you next…
Photo credit goes to friend Matan Tsabari.
Yep, so many people, so many ways of being single! The mating game has facinated me for years! The 20s are for trying out everything and then when we have gathered all the info, we start making up our minds, as to what works for us. The 30s can still be socially and romantically experimental, but getting older means getting more discerning about our partner choices. That also entails being more choosy about where and how we meet prospective partners.
I’m usually the sober one immensely amused by all the drunk people. And I’m usually the one trying to physically harm the drunken retards that think its OK to dance really close to me.
I’ve sort’ve worked out a glare/elbow combo that sometimes make them whimper away, although as a female (and as much as it does my feminist self in to say this) one often needs a male presence to deter the creeps.
Anyway, this all reminds me of why I don’t like the clubbing thing. While I love dancing n such, having to put up with all the unwanted advances and invasions of personal space really gets a bit much. And being that sober person observing clubbers on more than one accasion, its so NOT a place to end one’s “loneliness”.
hahaha certainly very entertaining observing neandrathals try their luck.
you are right, It sometimes puzzles me how some girls fall for that kinda behavior.
the single life can be hardcore.
and just as you said, its pretty interesting watching how people handle / deal with it.
I myself am really enjoying the single life. im learning a lot about myself, what I want and what I don’t want..and more importantly how to get what I want. Its not easy , but what other choice does one have? i sure as hell aint doing the celibate monk thing.
@Desrie i agree. one of the crappy things about clubbing is having to deal with all the douche-bags with no sense of personal space.
i don’t recon tiger-tiger is a good place to find wifey.
Deep. That was a cool read, I can relate to many of the things you’ve mentioned bro! I love the gay move, what a classic, been there before, had a good laugh 🙂
Great observations-every does “single” in their own way…and your story made me think about how I do single–as a gay guy. Great post buddy,but leave the gay act for the experts–hahaha.
@Astrodate – I already think I’m picky and choosy about my parters. Sometimes too choosy, but I think I know what I want out of someone, and if I’m going to date them, there should be a point to it. This year should be an interesting one. I need to date more… Learn more.
@desrie – I’ve always been against the stupid drunk types out at clubs… I love a good dance too, but even the girls start to think that EVERYONE is a drunk fool. makes our lives harder too…Sigh. I don’t want it to be the place I find my next girlfriend, but I’d like it to be somewhere I can go with her. Make sense?
@blade – I am too to be honest. I think I need to actually *be* more single, but I think that is what is to come this year. And you said it perfectly… It is about you and what you’d like to be, who, where, how… Once you know you, it’ll all be easier.
@Chris M – Never again. 😛 Thanks, dude.
@Nandoism – Thanks! And I plan to! 😀
Two things…
1. LOL. appropos a conversation we’ve had: I TOLD YOU PEOPLE DON’T THINK YOU’RE GAY! See? believe me now? nobody thinks youre gay. you make a terrible gay person! WAH! I was right! ten points to me.
2. You’re right. I hate the random acts of affection. the un-promise of a strange hookup.
So, just so’s we’re clear…
You’re NOT gay?
:))
Interesting insights, dude. I think the overt touch/offer thing that seems to be ok with girls, is a sad sign of a lack of respect/self-respect. Very sad.
@cath – Thank you… At least there is one believer.
@andré – Correct. I am NOT. But very sad indeed. I can’t even if I’m very drunk, be like that. I think it’s disrespectful to behave like that.
No one said this was gonna be easy…
Good post, makes a lot of sense and reminds us that we still have a little “caveman” in us.
“Circular dance floor”? Maybe your article would of been slightly different if you chose a different club 😉
Hahaha. John – Funny guy 😛
Maybe we should investigate some places…