People are funny. Especially young, single people. Generally, people in their earlyish 20s don’t really know what they wan’t out of life, let alone out of a particular person. I’m not saying I do, I’m just at a much better place where understanding of myself and what I want is a little easier.
Going out recently, I did some observing. Now, I know every club is different, but this is still very applicable. It’s funny when you’re the only sober person amongst the booze filled drones. You see things you wouldn’t normally see. You notice how desperate some people are for tail. It’s different when you’re in the chase. When you’re all completely smashed. You really only have one agenda.
The guys think they can get away with anything. I look at the dance floor and there are a lot of guys touching girls. But the girls like it. I see the drunkest guy approach a girl. He splashes her with his drink. He says she’s too hot. He then walks away. It’s corny, and sleazy. She loves it. Her and her friend go all giddy. It’s ridiculous.
The guys are like hawks. They stand around the circular dance floor. Some hunt in packs, others just lurk. They stare, presumably looking for a target. It’s all quite primitive. I’m waiting for them to pull out a club, bang a few on the head, and drag them towards the door by their hair.
Yes, yes, I know it’s difficult being single. I know people deal with it differently. So this is just another way. Maybe I’m just bitter I’m not able to go out and “do the whole random thing”. Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the show from here.
I just don’t find it easy. The awkward ‘how do I approach them? Did she just make eyes at me? What do I do now?’. It’s just the way it is. Confidence is everything. Mine just comes out at different times, in different situations. If I wanted, I could have any girl here. But do I? Could I really? What is the point of taking some drunk random home. She doesn’t know me. She’s doing it because she’s drunk. Yes, it might be fun, but could it really have a future? Never-the-less, there is a time and place for everything.
I came out, not really thinking, not worrying, not trying. I prefer it that way. It means I’m rarely disappointed. In reality it’s never that simple. It all comes back to each individual and really how drunk you are.
I eventually make my way back to my group of four friends. They’re all women tonight. Lovely ladies. Most are single. A drunk chap comes to dance. It’s been making the rounds. I saw him earlier scouting. He grinds heavily against one of my friends and she quickly moves away. So he tries his luck on the next. How do guys get so cocky and arrogant that they think they can do that? He goes around the group, and ends up where he began. He likes the blonde one. So he tries again. She moves away towards me, but I can’t be a boyfriend for all of them. So, I do something I’ve never done before, nor will do again soon. I play the gay guy. The girls then try pimp me off to him. I’m comfortable enough with me to know it’s fun. He’s not interested. I try dance with him but he moves away. I wonder what he doesn’t like about it. Some creepy guy trying to dance with him. He doesn’t get the hint and tries with my blonde friend again. Maybe I don’t make a very good gay man. (Thank goodness). Eventually I tell him I’m not gay, and he should please piss off now. He leaves, dancing, to try his luck somewhere else, and so the cycle continues.
Days later, I now have 2 girls downstairs, crying. They’re staying with us (a housemate). She’s upset about the asshole guys around. I actually find one of the girls very attractive. It’s unfortunate she kissed a friend. I want to go there and try explain that and everything else I’ve just written about, but I hear my name. I have no clue what I did. I ignore it but keep a keen ear open. She’s sad she’s single. She has been single a while. She wants the companionship. Blah blah blah. We’ve all been there. But this is just a symptom of it all. It’ll continue and everyone will keep dating not really knowing what they’re looking for until they think they’ve found it.
I’m not criticising. Really. We all have our own ways of being single. I just think some people’s ways are interesting. I just can’t get drunk and kiss the nearest person next to me. I’m sometimes envious of the people that can. But I have things they can’t do, and I’m excited I might get to show you next…
Photo credit goes to friend Matan Tsabari.