When we were 10 years old, we used to play all those games. You know the ones. One, for example, was where you’d draw four blocks. In one block would be the names of 4 girls – Prospective wives. The other blocks would be filled with cars, cities and house-types. Other games included preferred ages you’d be married at, number of children and career choices. Of course, we were all married to the girl of our dreams, two children in arms, in a house on the beach in California, with 17 different sports cars in the driveway, the company that runs itself, all by the time we were 23.
When I was 17, I had a plan. I knew what I was going to study. Where, how and why. I was going to finish my A Levels at school, head off to UCT to study electrical engineering and take life on. But life is constantly throwing curve balls. Not all the balls are big enough to be able to see and avoid. I didn’t get the physics mark I needed to be admitted into the engineering faculty, yet the science faculty would take me to, and get this, study physics. More strange small curve balls were thrown and I had to leave UCT at the end of 2005. It hit me as a bit of a shock, and I spent most of 2006 doing nothing but getting back onto my feet.
2007 started with a new gusto. I started afresh at UNISA, and I landed a small job in a startup company that a friend had founded. This year, I moved from Project Manager to Operations Manager in the same company, where I now manage a small team. It’s strange how things happen. I love it, and I think I’m fairly good at what I do. I started my own blog nearly a year ago. I write/wrote (I will write more) for nerdmag. I recently started blogging and tweeting for Standard Bank Cricket. And I’ve just realised I can add all of these items to my CV. This is as far from engineering and the science faculty as you can go, and it really surprises me. A lot.
Thinking about it all today, I’ve become conscience to the fact that I no longer have a plan. People have their aspirations to work as hard as they can in order to be able to move to a new place. Or that they’re know where they’re going, or where they want to be going, in their company. I don’t know any of that. I see me not having my degree has a huge hinderance, and it will be. I can’t apply for a job without one, and will be very lucky to get this type of opportunity again. Talking to a friend about her new job, and she tells me how she thinks it’s prefect for me. It is. It makes me think about how I might not get that second chance…
Last night i was doing maths equations with another good friend, and I missed it. I missed the Applied Maths I was doing through Unisa before work took over. I miss using my brain in that way. I often feel that it’s not being used enough. I regret one thing in this whole situation, and that is not having my BSc by now, but I do not regret where I am. It just means I don’t have that one real speciality, and that bothers me a little bit too. I think I might have a bit more experience than some some of my friends, even if I’m earning less, but I am happy. I love that I’ve had this chance now.
I think this is all part of why I’ve been so restless in my mind of late. I’ve started my new position, and there is just so much happening, that there has been very little time to take it all in and reflect and settle. I know some of you are living that dreamed up lifestyle, and good for you. If it makes you happy, then what more should you need. But as we grow and mature, our dreams are still there, they just change to be what we want and need them to be. So, where do I see myself in 10 years? I have no frickin’ idea. I don’t know if it’s bad that I don’t have a plan, but I will keep doing what I enjoy doing and see where it takes me…
PS – I wrote this in august last year:
http://blindcripple.co.za/2009/07/failure-and-success/
It is quite funny how we plan when we’re younger with the full expectation of it coming true. Every now and then I sit back and think of stuff I have done, and realize that my young self would’ve never even thought it possible.
I never quite know how people who plan for, and achieve, stuff do it – life gets in the way too often
@Desrie – You’re so right. Life is always happening. I think this is the way it’s supposed to be for me, though. I love how many it always is. There is always something.
It’s so good to be able to look back see how far we have come and how young and silly we were, how we think we’re so much better now, and yet, in a year, the cycle will continue.
“Til we can’t, anymore” – right?
I feel, to a certain extent, that you have been writing the feelings I have not been able to put into words.
No, I haven’t finished my degree yet either, but I’m young and I know it will happen if I really want it to. I don’t think most of the people who graduate can talk about all the experiences I’ve had in my 6 years of trying to study law. I know that when I graduate, my experiences will count a lot more than the question of how long it took to finish my degree.
You’re working now and you’re lucky that you have at least that, considering the whole -lack-of-degree thing. Thats something to fall back on, if nothing else. And in the years to come when, and certainly if, you decide to get back to your degree, you’ll be that much more interested. Your education suddenly won’t get in the way of your life 🙂
I think life plans rarely take shape as people expect them to. You change as you get older, 5 years ago my plans were completely different to what they are now as priorities and values do change with time and maturity.
I also think too much time is spent focusing on the goal and not the journey, you’re only young once so enjoy it, whatever you’re doing.
I think you are very lucky that you enjoy the industry you are working in!
I have also managed to build a career without a degree although I am in an industry that I don’t enjoy and I cannot realistically see myself in the industry for the next 30 odd years!
So I have started planning again, so far it has been okay. Maybe as you get older you focus less on the detail? Maybe you take the dream and focus on how to successfully accomplish step number one?
I had lotsa plans- partying, studying, seeing the world… and they all got shelved when I got preggers at 16!
I decided to shelve all my personal ambitions until my son could take care of himself and then see to myself.
I’m almost at that point in my life now. The things I thought I wanted then have all morphed into other things, but its still exciting!
Growing up I never knew what I wanted to be. It used to fluctuate between being a reporter, a world famous cheerleader, a talk show host & a vet. All of which would get me famous.
None of that really panned out and I ended up dropping out of school at 16 because I thought smoking weed all day on the beach would be more fun. I became street smart instead of educated. Silly move.
Then, once I’d grown out of my rebellious stage, I decided to go back to school. Despite falling pregnant at 17 and being a mom by 18, I still managed to finish matric, get a few diplomas behind my name and became a qualified crisis & trauma counsellor by the age of 22 for Lifeline.
My mom decided at 40 that she hated what she was doing, threw in the towel of corporate life and studied beauty therapy & permanent make up tattooing. That’s what she does for a living now, she owns her own little mini empire.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I honestly believe its never too late. Sure, you may not have the degree, but you can always do something else close to your heart?
You’re such an intelligent individual, and regardless of me being proud to know you and maybe even a little bit biased, I believe you can do anything you set your mind to. You’re just that awesome.
I too had plans far removed from what I do now. I think I appreciate more that things didn’t go according to plan earlier in my life.
Now I have the ability to roll with the punches of life. The ability to get up when life knocks me down.
I think its more valuable to teach kids how to move with the flow of life than giving them an idea that Everything goes as planned in life.
Life plans are great!
They help us decide what decision to make to achieve a desired outcome. They help us map out our future. but as every life traveller knows.
…the map is not the territory. true story.
Dude. my original life plan included:
becoming a war journalist (yes, really)
having four dogs and three cats
a nice husband
and no children.
you can see how life has changed. and how the vision vs the reality always amends itself.
i’m happier this way than i think i would be in the fake chino pants i envisioned myself wearing.
X
Ye dude, good post, I know what you’re talking about, I’ve been there before, standing in the middle of an empty field, looking up at the sky and asking myself where am I and what am I doing.
Things were a little different for me, I started programming before I was 10 years old and it was always a passion so I knew I would head in that direction and I did, all the way up until a few years ago when I decided that I’d rather manage programmers, manage projects and interact with clients as well as focus on new business development.
The main part that I can relate to is around my passion for interior design, from a young age I wanted to do interior design, but due to my logical mind I decided to take the, perhaps, “safe” route. I still had the passion, and I still do for the computer industry, but I often wonder what I would be doing should I have ventured into the interior design realm.
Anyway, I have learnt some good things over the past 6 months or so. I find myself competiting with people of the ages 35 and above, why I do this, I have no idea, but now it’s a realisation, I know that I need to relax a little and concentrate more on now and myself, rather than the future and what those people are doing, inspiration is one thing, but obsession is just silly. That being said, I’m only 27, there are many many more years left and if I can keep that in mind, I could still work towards my dream of running a really trendy, upmarket interior design shop 🙂
I think another important thing is not necessarily to create dreams for years ahead, but to perhaps create several small ones over the course of a few years, these dreams are easier to reach and once you learn how to reach dreams, then setting ones further in the future become easier.
I could carry on with this topic all night, but I fear that you’ll draw tired and not finish reading 😉
Later bro!
@kru – Experience is worth so much in this world I think, but then so does the ability to show that you have the degree behind my name. It’s just something that will always bother me. One day I think I will, I just hope it’s not too late and I hope my experience and persona will be able to speak for itself.
@ Donald – I think you’re right. We need to enjoy our journey more and see where it goes, but still have the idea for those final destinations in our mind.
@Alet – I am in the industry I want to be in for the rest of my life, so what better way to start. As you get older you just learn more about what you actually want out of life…
@Angel – You see, you still have a plan. It ust took a really long detour, but you still have it in your mind and have kept focus on it…
@shebee – Thank you 🙂 It’s always good to hear things like that. I know you’re right… it’s just brain-farts that get in the way and make me feel like this…
@blade – True! I have a huge appreciation of where I am now. I am very grateful about it. Also right about being able to accept and handle what life throws. “Life experience” can not be taught. You look at life in a different light, and that is your gain on everyone else. Never actually thought of that before.
@cath – But you still turned out awesome. It’s quite amazing how many people children have affected unintentionally…
@ChrisM – I often look at other people I connect with and think that I’m far behind them and where I should be but I also realise that I’m still young, and most of the people I’m looking at have been at this for far longer than I have. It’s a great realisation to have, even if I have to do it constantly. We need to do things for ourselves too. In hindsight, I’m glad last year gave me that chance and now it’s the expanding stage, to build on what I’ve done over the past couple of years. Very surprising to see what people wanted to end up doing, but I think if you keep the goal there it won’t be hard for you to achieve.
I think the just of the matter is that even if you have a plan, you’re unlikely to be able to follow *your* path to get there, but certain goals can still be accomplished along the way. You just have to be realistic about them. My problem now is just to be able to set myself goals…
Ye mate, I’m not going to mention names, but there were a few guys in this web industry that I was constantly trying to keep up with, and finally a friend of mine pointed out that they are all at least 10 years older than me and that I had only been working in industry for around 2-3 years and should thus slow down a little, absorb as much as possible, work hard and concentrate on moving forwards by myself, rather than by always following.
You’re right, having a plan is a good thing and it’s important, sticking to it is very difficult, especially in the day and age that we live in, constant changes around us don’t favour walking along a straight line.
Have another interesting question – Have you ever had a mentor, or at least someone to help you make decisions, be it financially/emotionally/mentally, etc. ?
I like that I’ve started in this industry, I just have to grow. It’s something I really want, and like you said, I just have to make sure I don’t make it an obsession.
There are a few wants I have. I think I need to physically get them down on paper for them to actually mean something more to me.
Never a full on mentor as such. There has always been someone in my life that has been that person, but this is the first time that it’s pretty much just me. I needed it for some time, just to be able to do that – To live independently. But I think I’ve done it, and that type of role is possibly quite important in someone’s life. So again, not really 🙂
And isn’t this just very appropriate:
http://blindcripple.tumblr.com/post/369238572/pauljacobson-my-life-isnt-that-great-right
About your point on getting them down on paper, for a long time I’d write my goals on paper and stick them right next to my monitor sort of like the whole “put a picture of the car you want right on your wall” scenario – subconsciously you do take it in 🙂
Man, I’d kill to have a mentor, I’ve never had one, never had someone to guide me financially, never had someone to help with job related matters, etc. I only brought this up because it came up elsewhere the other day and I felt this was a decent forum to discuss it.
Mentor = I wish.
my plan is not to have one! long term anyway…
But each to their own, & i commend you on where u are now & how you’re doing! good show ol’ chap.
@Chris I’ve always had my partner in the past as the one person I’d always go to. Of course, she was never always properly knowledgeable 😛 But still nice to have. It would be nice to have that opportunity. The company I’m at was part of a mentorship program and it proved invaluable.
@ken – I think you just need some sort of idea… even if it’s just a dream…
Ye mate, going to your partner is comforting, but definitely not the best bet for advice all the time as emotions are always involved. I do agree, nice to have.
Those mentorship programs are awesome, when I was at FormFuncion there was a mentorship program, but I honestly don’t think that one was that great, didn’t see enough happening :/
Yeah, and they’re not personal 😛
😀
Have a good weekend bro, hope this chat has given you a little more clarity, I’ve found it somewhat inspiring, if that’s the right word, can’t quite pinpoint 🙂
Great Post! This quote made me realize that sometimes life does not go as planned …and that is OK !”I may not have gone where I intended to go but I think I have ended up where I needed to be”- Douglas Adams
Thanks, V! Indeed, it is okay, as soon as you’ve gotten your head in the right place. Loving that quote!
Really enjoyed this. I also never finished my degree and it also nags at the back of my head. Yes my experience is invaluable, but that’s not what employers read when they look at your cv. By the way, in terms of dreams, my uncle just finished his degree. He is 54.
@Keith – You make a good point… It’s never too late (I think). In your mind at least…