Let me tell you a story…
Once upon a time, there was a girl. Girl had the run of the town. She did whatever she wanted and lived her single life however she saw fit. Then, out of the blue, she met a boy. This boy fought very hard for her attention. Even after the first date, things were intense. He fought her walls and worries. She let him into her life. He made her believe that some guys were actually okay. He needed her to know that. But a few weeks later, the boy wasn’t so sure anymore. He wasn’t so sure this was right, and so he ended it then, before it had even begun…
I have never broken up with anyone before. There are many reasons for this. One being because I have never been honest with myself, or my partner. There are many reasons. I know myself more now and know what I want and what I feel – And this just didn’t feel right. So, for the first time, I ended this before it had a real chance to get anywhere significant. Perhaps I spoke too soon on the last post?
She says she’ll wake up tomorrow and be okay. I’m not sure I can believe that. Maybe my ego won’t let that be the case, but I find it hard to believe that anyone can simply wake up one day and be fine when there were feelings involved. I know, I’m not going to wake up and be fine. This wasn’t done because I wanted to hurt her. It would’ve been unfair to keep going on when I knew there was something not quite right there.
We got on really well, and she was a really special person once you get to know her. But this is the stage in a new relationship where things are supposed to be chilled and easy and fun. But they weren’t. There had already been one or two issues, and I promised myself that I would not let that happen again. I coudn’t handle closed-off-ness at times, yet the open times at others. I know there are things we keep inside, but I’m human. I got confused too. This didn’t just come because I got cold feet. There are reasons!
I guess this is part of the whole dating thing, but just so you know, it doesn’t feel so great. There are some things that I’ve learnt out of it, though:
- Not all relationships are meant to last.
- Dating isn’t easy.
- People are extremely complex creatures which logic can not solve.
- It’s going to take a lot for me to trust again.
- I really miss companionship.
I know she’s going to be angry for a while, and she won’t believe my genuinely sincere words, but there is a reason and I hope she’ll see it. She needs to realise that I am really one of the good guys and they do exist. This just wasn’t right.
I don’t know if I’m ready for something serious just yet, but I still really miss having someone around, and I really loved having that again. Being single has both its pros and cons, but I don’t really think we have a choice in which side of the fence we’re on at times. I’m going to keep living as I need to and I know things will happen as they do…
Ending something sooner than later is always fairer on both parties and it might not be obvious at first, but it becomes obvious. I also think that if you’ve been in a long relationship which has ended, that when you start dating again, there’s no point in just settling, rather do like you did and end things before they get unpleasant. Hope you’re all good bro!
Chris, thanks mate. It’s just one of those things. I know it’s right, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
Will be all good…
you got my text. never settle. when something isnt right, it isnt right. the hardest things to do are always the most necessary for ourselves.
big love, hon. i know this part sucks but, kudos for your courage X
Echoing Cath. When something is not right, it’s just not right. Know it sucks.
Keep strong and smiling
xxx
Ugh, sucky but necessary sometimes – I wish I had listened to my niggling doubts with the ex, would have saved myself a lot of heartache!
Also had to nip something in the bud with the first proper fling I had after the break up, the guy was really sweet, and had almost (but not quite) all the criteria I look for, was super keen and all should have been great… but somehow it just wasn’t. Can’t even say exactly what it was (or wasn’t) but I did know that it wouldn’t be fair to see him again or take things further when I knew I wasn’t that into him.
That makes you a good person, even if you can’t help feeling a bit swak.
And besides, the next few months will be the best time to be single – epic hot tourist influx in just a few short months. 😉
Thank you everyone. It’s good to know that I’ve not been too much of an ass with this…
Rox – I like your thinking 🙂
Positives out of the negatives!
Frankly, dude, I think it takes more balls to end it than to “stick it out” for the sake of regular shagging and having some company.
I ended a relationship recently for the same reasons it just was not quite right no matter how sweet and nice he was. I am sad I hurt someone though and it made me more careful this time
After the 3yr I made that very deal with myself, I refuse to settle because I very nearly did. One day you will meet the right person and you will be so incredibly glad that you didnt settle for less and that you have the opportunity to pursue something that means so much more. Happy hunting, its not all fun and games.