Girls and boys are very different. I mean, besides the obvious physical side of things, we’re completely different. Our brains are built the same way, but they’re not. Girls go to the bathroom together, for goodness knows what. To be honest, I can’t even pee if there are other people around. The long story, short, is that we do not think the same way. Girls are crazy. And it’s that simple.
As you know, I recently ended things with someone after a few weeks. But before I did, I was witness to some of the most malicious, childish behaviour that I have ever seen. 13 year old girls would have been embarrassed about it.
The girls in question had no right to do what they did. They think they do, but they never did. They were mean, stupid, and it was completely unwarranted. She was nothing but lovely. They will never have what she had. They were, and never will be, even close to what she had.
I have lost all respect for them, if in various cases, there was any to begin with anyway. But, I don’t know the full story. There is lots missing, but I have enough to be able the write this with some certainty.
I didn’t handle the situation properly when it happened. I didn’t really know what to do in that position. I was surrounded by some people I call my friends, and I didn’t want to create any more tension there. But I know I didn’t do it well.
Then, there was the ensuing public conversation. The not-so-cryptic Twitter messages; the smses talking about us. All this lovely behaviour that most people get out of their system at high school when you first start dating.
I’m not perfect, I know this. But generally, when it comes to other peoples’ feelings and well being, I know how to behave like an adult. My rant is now over, and please excuse me if I have been too cynical and harsh.
“Jealousy makes you nasty, nasty makes you ugly, ugly makes you fat. And nobody likes the fat kid!”
Rants rock
Yes, indeed. 🙂
Being able to get things out makes all the difference!
HTFU, a lovely steamy mug of concrete is being delivered to your office as I type.
Just had to.
Oy. Thats very sad.
are rants not supposed to be angry, full of swearing and literally divulging of badness?
just kidding…awesome rant. rants are awesome to just vent out without actually talking to people physically. i actually prefer it that way. you should see some of my rants. i’d be ashamed to speak to people out loud if i speak what i write 😀
I agree.
Childish behaviour from adult ‘women’ should not be condoned. At the time though, it seems like the best thing to do is put them out of their place when you know you have the power to do so, and it feels bloody good. Hindsight, however, is always 20-20 unfortunately.
To be honest, I don’t understand women. For example, I don’t understand why women play ‘games’ with guys they ‘like’.
Anyways, at a risk of ranting on your blog, I shall conclude with: You are right!
so many holes.. oh where to start, little one…
“Girls and boys are very different.”
Yes. Boys are dumb and Girls are crazy. High school. Not that I ever dated in high school, so I wouldn’t know.
You’d be surprised to know that not everyone that’s single at 30 has “dated around.”
We’re all learning here. But one thing I’ve learned is that experience teaches you nothing.
It’s not about how many notches you have in your bed post, it’s what you do with it.. so to speak.
I know many “experienced” people that are dumb and crazy. I also know some smart and sane people (just not on twitter, obviously :P).
We all have our crazy, dumb moments. Learn from them and don’t let them define you, and you’ll be ok.
Also try not to judge someone’s crazy moment… cause we’re all a little f’d up.
Be kind. And nice. It’s boring.. but better for the world.
“But, I don’t know the full story. There is lots missing…”
Dude… come on. Find out or shut it.
Assumption is the mother of all misguided rants.
“But generally… I do know how to behave like an adult.”
I must’ve missed out on adult school.. because in my world, we deal with stuff face to face.. not via “cryptic” blog posts.
And yes, only with people that matter. So, if it doesn’t matter that much, let it go.
#thatisall
I’d be curious to know more about what actually happened, as in what the girls were doing, it would help me put the dots together 🙂
Brilliant idea Chris!
Let’s make a soap opera!
🙂
If only we knew and understood what was going through people’s mind and emotional state, then maybe we could understand their actions and reactions. I, for one, sometimes don’t even know and understand what’s going on in my world let alone someone else’s.
Humans (boys AND girls) are fragile.
We’re all going through life with our very own unique rose tinted glasses, trying our best to be our best and wanting to be loved for it. It’s not easy being human.
People only act out when they think they have been hurt. Note it’s how THEY are feeling.
Nobody is right, nobody is wrong, everyone is just trying to get through life.
Things could always be handled differently but they weren’t and so we all have to live with what we did and didn’t do.
I apologise for being confused and for not doing what I should have!
The thing about blogging is that sometimes we just need to say something. We know it does not change the outcome and we would be silly to think that we have any influence over other people’s behaviour, but sometimes we just have to say stuff, get it out, and all that.
Well done for getting it out, I don’t think we need to know what happened just that it was a horrible situation for you and you need to get it off your chest.
All you can hope for is by thinking about it and writing about it, you are clearer in your own mind about how you would want to respond, if you found yourself in the same position again. We only have the power to change ourselves.
Grum – Thanks dude.
Angel – Exactly
Geoff – the point is to get your view across without being constantly interrupted 🙂 I like this way too
Kru – I agree completely. There is no time for games. There’s not point. And thank you 🙂
Ani –
There are only holes because I’m not wasting more time on finding out. There is no need to dig deeper because I know what was said. I know how malicious some people can be. I’ve seen it before, not just here by these people. You speak about being kind, and nice. If that were the case, then none of this would have happened. All this unnecessary drama could have been easily avoided.
I disagree with your experience theory, though. How do we expect to learn and grow without experiences. You presume it’s all about a notch. People can easily go out with something with the need for anything “notch”-like. The experience that I appreciate is what comes out of the situation. You will have to grow from it all. If you can’t use that experience, then there is no point to trying to find anyone.
We don’t judge other people’s crazy moment, until they start to affect other peoples lives. If that happens, there is clearly a problem. I would love to be kind and nice and boring. But who wants to live like that. I am generally a nice person. It normally takes a lot to make me angry, but when it does, I don’t feel I should have to worry about what I think about the matter. There might be holes and information left out here, but it doesn’t change anyone’s behaviour or the people that were hurt by it.
Adult school is the life we live to know what is right and wrong. There is no need to discuss these issues face to face when I know that there will be no real resolution and no point to it then. Besides, I am not gaining or losing anything by trying to resolve this. What’s done is done.
To help everyone get some clarification – I was unhappy about the way SHE was treated while we were there. Not everyone is question was rude and obnoxious. Some was more subtle, yet still noticeable, even if it was not as damaging. Not everyone caused crap, because some people know how to behave.
Al_ice
I agree with what you’ve said. But in this case. People were wrong. They should’ve been handled differently, and people are living with it. This was my way of expressing that. Somethings are beyond our control, and yes, this is where we have to deal.
I really am glad to get some further insight here, but this only further shows the unnecessary drama that developed from nowhere. Can’t really take things with a pinch of salt when everyone is being serious…
Sally – Yes exactly. The blog is thinking space. So, thank you 🙂 We aren’t always able to do things differently the second time around, which is where another problem is.
*squidge* that is all.
1. To me, blogging is a personal space to express yourself. however you feel. for me, and I know for you too, blindcripple, its essential to be able to offload. you and i are ‘carriers’. we’ll carry alot of stuff til boiling point. and then spill it. so, you spilt it. and so eloquently, unlike i ever would. i would’ve exploded like a palestinian alarm clock.
Anyway, my point is, rant away.
2. Yeah, girls and boys are different. And yeah, I’m freaking sick of alleged adults who spend their time doing stupid shit like gossiping and picking on other people. I’m almost certain you should have to get a licence to become an adult, and prove your maturity level. Just my 0.2 cents on that one. As someone who spends a lot of time hearing about “what he/she said” about me, I’m pretty over alot of people.
3. Crypticism = which is what I am a freaking princess of. I love that we can be cryptic. I don’t think its always necessary to give all the details (although, to be frank, I wanna know everything now! lol)… but sometimes its easier to rant behind a cryptic post.
That’s my CathOpinion for the day…
Sjoe, you people like your drama! Tisk 😀
OM double G! I feel I needed to say that before I continued!
Firstly there are far too many holes in the story to truly understand what went down, however if it ensued a blog post it must have been something major. It is very adult how you have handled the behaviour without naming names, though I am sure if the people in question read this they’ll figure they are the subject.
Secondly, a note on boys and girls, yes girls are intensely mental sometimes and boys can be painfully ignorant but that’s what makes us all special ;). The high schoolesque behaviour you describe is actually more common than you think, my entire undergrad years were filled with petty jealousy and silly bickering that drove me insane, I grew up with people who just tell it like it is so varsity was my first experience of said behaviour which irked me. I hate all that game playing, that petty jealousy and most importantly that no so subtle behind ones back bickering.
For my sanity I remove myself from all such situations.
Cath – Much love to you. You’re right. And thank you.
Elle –
The thing with the post is that I don’t need to go into details. It’s my vent, for me. To get it off my chest.
I didn’t name anyone, and yes, they know who they are. But I except them to get angry. They know what they did. I know for a fact that one of them has already admitted to it.
Getting out of them is great, when you can. And what I try do too.
Hey 🙂
Rants are cool. and Cath I love you. 🙂 now I just wish I had the guts to be criptic online.. I’m criptic enough in my own diary. I think if I had a blog, I’d only ever do like one word entries. haha
June 1, 2010. “Fuck”. or “dammit”. Or “yay”.
hehe
nah, actually, when I get to writing, I’d write a flipping book just to say that I had a great date with a scorching scandanavian last night (or something far more mundane, I’m sure)…
rants are cool. and necessary. besides this is your space. say what the fuck you want.
*sorry for swearing on your website, I have a feeling it’s a little rude, especially considering we’ve only just met… *
Hey Cam.
Big love and big hair right back at you 😛
Truth is, I’ve been tempted, numerous times, to just blog the word “FUCK SAKES” in gigantic font. just to get something off my chest that I cant really talk about.
Heh. I think BC will forgive you 😛
As well it is, hence the purpose of a blog – to be able to vent for your own sanity. People will always do and say things that irk us, the important is to never let it get to you. *hugs*
So I have no real clue what you’re talking about, as you seem to post it in little bits and pieces, but I would assume that you’re perhaps just a little worried about what people think and say.
I’ve come a long way with some very tricky situations, and I’ve learned the very painful way that people who have an opinion don’t matter, and the people who matter don’t have an opinion.
What happened that night, happened. It wasn’t handled correctly by anyone. But the onus wasn’t on some to handle that situation at all.
Sure boys and girls are different, but we’re all human. And we need to treat people as such, no matter what their sex, or yours, is. So, I was treated that way on Saturday night because of emotions others had. Fair enough, inconsiderate and uncalled for, but fair enough.
But by the next day, any reasons you had for having those emotions towards me, were gone. Him and I were no longer together, and I had to deal with the emotions that went with that. As humans, and as girls, no matter what your life experiences may be, you know what that takes. Let a girl move on, without making her feel worse in the process. Him and I were both trying to respect the decisions that were made with regards to us, and we were trying to do it with a smile, privately and in our own time. There was no reason to take your opinions of me onto a public platform, especially while my emotions were so raw.
All I’m saying is, be humane. This isn’t a lesson that needs to be learnt. It is something we are born with, as humans.
@blindcripple something like this?
http://blog.empyrean.co.za/blog/think-happy-thoughts/
:D?
I wasn’t going to reply but
As you said Jealousy makes you nasty.
I think it’s time that regardless of who was involved or not, acknowledge what happened, move forward, put this in the past, make a choice on what they’re going to do and get on with their lives.
Live with positivity, don’t judge others. Everyone is their own person and acts in a certain way due to certain situations.
Yes, you’re allowed to write a blog post and vent but…
It’s about being mature, not hating or being jealous, respecting the other person regardless of what happened and move on. 🙂
🙂
this sounds intense hahaha
I’d love to hear the details.
@cam – what the fucking hell are you on about? 😉 The blog is the space to do whatever. That’s what I’m looking for.
@someone Else – Nice on the anonymity. I’m not worried about what people think and say. But I have enough respect to know that naming and giving more details would not be fair on the other parties involved.
I disagree, I think people should have an opinion – How are they meant to have a personality without one?
@roxy – Thank you.
@Ross – I agree with the first part of what you said. We sometimes can’t help the way we behave. there are reasons. And I will be moving on, but this is my way of dealing with that.
@blade – Chat this weekend!
someone once gave me some advice about jealousy…it was something along the lines of “if people are jealous of what you have/what you are then you’re doing something right…”
i dont even know if that’s appropriate here, because i have no idea what happened…but i read the post you linked to….and i hope that one day you’ll wake up, and it’ll all be ok. xx
@ExMi – Very appropriate. And I liek the saying. And I can only hope that it’s true. This really started out as a vent in which some of the people involved got their nerve hit, which is perhaps part of what I want. Things are okay… Things are good. Thank you. x
In relation to that quote at the bottom of the article. People actually like the fat Kid!