It’s been a long time since I blogged.  And the birthday post doesn’t count.  I mean really blogged.  About raw honesty again.  About how upset this has made me, or how angry that did.  But if I am being honest, it’s because I’m happy.

People are ruled by emotion.  They’re driven by anger, intimidation and sadness, but also by happiness, confidence and lust.  ?It’s what keeps us fresh and worth the talk and company.  Without the emotion you’re just a hairy ball of nothingness.  I, most certainly, write best in the throws of emotions.  It comes out quite clearly in the posts I compose and each post will centre around those themes that are automatically included.  For me, this seems to be much easier with the negative emotions, and now I sit with happiness and I’m seriously struggling.

Happiness is the second hardest topic for me to blog about only preceded by sex.  I can write maybe one post about it before it becomes repetitive.  And let’s be honest, unhappy people don’t like to read about happy people. Yet, they can always relate to the morbid and melancholy.  And despite this, happiness is the one thing man strives for.  And so, that’s the main reason why I haven’t blogged. Happiness has taken me.  That coupled with work and work and work, and new things and liking sleep.  It’s all come together quite nicely.

Why am I happy? I’ve started a couple of things to try bring in some extra income and that’s worked twice.  Work-work has been tough, but good – I’m slowly sorting out things that have taken far too long. I’ve removed all, if not most, of the things and people that bring me down in life.  And to top it all off, I’m seeing a girl that just simplifies everything.  And this, especially, makes me happy.

On the other side of the coin, I considered stopping this blogging thing.  I mean, I started blogging because of the place I was in.  I was a mess.  Broken.  And lying in a pile with the laundry.  Being able to write about everything helped me to a point I can not even begin to describe.  And now, that cycle has truly passed.  ?And to be honest, I’ve also received a few comments on the blog lately that really did bring me down.  Plus all the drama I’ve caused by just writing about me and what I’ve felt.  But talking to a couple of people at the SA Blog Awards last night: out of all the people that read the posts, only a couple felt this way enough to comment – And that’s not a bad number.  I even mentioned stopping to a couple of friends, but they told me I was being stupid in no uncertain terms.  And thinking about it more, it’s near impossible I’m going to stay like this forever.

So, I’ll stick by my guns.  If you don’t like it, don’t read it.  I’ve said it before, and I’m likely to say it again and again, but I write for me, not for you.  I post for me.  For my escape.  ?I’m not the best person to talk to let my things out, so I write.  And I love it.  If you do relate, and do like what I have to say, then even better.  Those negative comments mentioned “?If you believe all women want sensitive, emo boys you are wrong, we want a balance between strong, independent and masculine with caring, loving and romantic”.  ?But as I’ve said, we’re ruled by emotion, and that was all the emotion coming out in my posts.

In this drama-free life I’ve adopted, it’s very difficult to blog with all those other negative emotions, when you’re trying so hard to avoid them. ? But, I cant stop this blogging thing, it’s been too damn good to me.  But i have a plan, I just have to stop being so damn lazy, make some changes, and let’s see how this goes…