It starts out being picked up by a chauffeur on Saturday morning and taken to The Table Bay Hotel where we have run of the main kitchen and basically take part in our own cooking show.  We get a crash course in creating foods and sampling wines.  It’s horrible, I know.  We then get dinner at a surprise venue and then escorted to The Union Bar for after-dinner whiskey and cognac.  It could certainly be worse.

If I win, by being more awesome than the others, I get to stay in the Presidential Suite that night, and keep our tools of the trade that we used that day (an iPad).  *Cue more excitement*.  I also have a secret cooking weapon in V, who is the best cook in Cape Town.

But I need your help.  All it takes is a tweet (or 17).  All you have to do is tweet this:

RT @blindcripple: A Little Bit About #ChefsTableBay http://bit.ly/pLukNl

(You can click on the Tweet to do it for you)

and I’ll be rewarding one of you with more than just love (it involves R500 worth of wine), if I win.  Keep an eye on my Twitter stream, especially on Saturday, as the competition hots up, as does your chance of winning too!

(Winner chosen completely at random, so the more you enter, the better your chances)

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I’m not going to create a new design, nor change anything besides the content actually, but it will hopefully change.  I’ll add a category here and there and write more of things that interest me.  This way, I also don’t need to create an all new blog for that particular reason.  So, I’ll talk about a wider range of things that I’m passionate about.  All except photography which now has its own special home.

But why?  Why do I even need the alternative?  Why keep it at all?  Because I have a reputation.  I know that sounds completely narcissistic, but it’s true.  I’ve influenced others to starts blogging and I’m still considered a blogger.  So much so that I’ve been included in an awesome competition this weekend involing the Table Bay Hotel.  I find it almost unfair that I was chosen.  But I have a good following on Twitter and technically, I am a blooger.  So why the hell not.  This has also kick-started a revival, as I bloody want to win!

So here’s to the umpteenth time of me restarting blogging… Let’s see how this goes…

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We all do things for a reason. I blog because it makes me feel better. I’ve missed it lately. Despite this, I don’t want to only blog now when I’m feeling a need. There will be something filtering down at some point, so there is hope. But now, I have missed it. Just over two months ago, my gran passed away one week after her 92nd birthday. By some miracle, I was there on her birthday. But eight days later, her kidney’s finally let go. She and I were very close and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with.

I’m still yet to properly deal with it, however. About a week after she passed, I broke up with the girl I was seeing. It was about a nine month long relationship, but from my point of view, very intense. I am by no means saying that’s a bad thing, it is what it is. Things ended because I was unable to give my everything to the relationship. I have my reasons and I’ve tried to explain those reasons to everyone that mattered. It is sad to leave someone, no matter the circumstances. I still think about her a lot. It still hurts for many reasons, but I think this is the way it needs to be. And now, being alone is again a reality but it’s something I once embraced and will try to do it again. There is nothing wrong with being alone, it’s when you’re lonely that it becomes a problem. Winter really doesn’t help, though.

Through it, I have learned a lot about other people and their opinions of me. It’s amazing how many people have thoughts of me and who they think I am. They have strong opinions too. I really think it’s a joke, though. One day I want to have an entertaining life like theirs to be able to sit and chat about some completely random people where I mean nothing to them. I know half of these people are bitter about something or another. It’s petty. But I supposed talking about it is too.

I will be writing about each issue on its own. I’m trying to transition myself back into writing again and hopefully not stop for a while. I really do love it. Creating this blog was the best thing I have ever done, bar none. And if you don’t have your own therapy, you should dig around a bit and see what makes you happy, because in reality, you really need it…

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I’ve been considering writing again for a while.  However, there’s a lot more to it than just sitting down and doing it.  When this first started, there was a purpose and a reason, and now, that reason is no longer there.  Or is it?  Perhaps it’s just taken a different form.  I know I’m certainly not the same person that began this blog and my oldest friends will attest to that.  But the power that writing has had for me has been playing on my mind.  I’d like to think that not many other people write the way I do.  Sure, there are other personal blogs, but very few of a man’s perspective or the brutality that I try get out.  The reason for this is simple; I struggle to speak these words, so I write them.  I don’t do it for the brutality, that’s just the way it is.

And it has been a long time.  If you look over the last few entries, you’ll see that they’re not really part of this blog.  Some of them aren’t even by me but they’re there as I tried to take it a different route, without really pursuing that route properly.  So, I stopped writing altogether.  I’ve written a couple of posts on overexposed, but that really can’t be compared.  But I think that’s where my therapy turned.  My new love is in the form of a Nikon D90, with which I take photos with every now and then.  And sometimes, they turn out pretty special.  When I’m feeling the need for a distraction, I submerge myself into editing or some web construction.   And, to be honest, I’ve actually learned to talk more.  More about things that I would’ve ordinarily written down, so perhaps I am growing up.  Some would disagree.

I spoke a lot tonight about my past and what’s happened in the last four years and it’s been an abundance.  Looking back, I have no regrets.  I see where I’ve come from and I understand it.  I’m not bitter about anything.  And I hold no grudges.  I haven’t always done things properly nor in the right manner, but I know why and I think the people realise that.  Or at least the ones that matter do.  I’ve also learned a lot about other people and their views on me.  There are some very odd people with very jaded lives.

So much has happened.  Yet, I’m not sure it’s any different.  I’m hoping that I write again.  I miss it.  But I’m not sure how to tackle this.  I’m not sure if I should keep trying to use my own photos as featured images.  I’m not sure if I should redesign the blog.  I’m not sure if I can be as open as I used to be; a lot more people know me, it’s not an anonymous handle anymore.  I’ve had a couple of people pushing me back into it, so that, together with my own intentions, have brought my fingers back to my keys.  Let’s just hope it continues…

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As I lie here typing, I am sad to say that I have been hit with the latest case of man-flu going around.  And, I can safely say that it is one of the worst.  My muscles ache.  Every one of my little injury niggles are screaming.  Even my eye balls are sore.  And the worst part of man-flu: There is no cure.

It’s not often I’m sick like this.  I can handle the vomiting and the fever.  I can even take the hallucinations telling me that it’s being caused by aliens in my knees, and if I lie just right, they’ll go to sleep (true story).  But what I really struggle to deal with is the helplessness that is caused by man-flu.  And yes, I know what you’re thinking.  Why doesn’t he just grow a pair and pull himself towards himself?! But you don’t know!  You’re probably sitting there at your desk, or on your couch, eating a nice cheese sandwich without the worry about how soon you might see it again.

So, next time you see someone with a case of man-flu, show some damn empathy and sympathy.  He’s not exaggerating.  Man-flu is a real danger, and he knows it.  Get him some chicken soup. And make him feel better.  ‘Cause let’s be honest, there is little more annoying that a whinging man…

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Each each year, I spray my head weird colours (cos it’s already shaved)

And I always wear my support on my wrist.  And this will be no exception.

I’m not very good with the upper lip thing, but it’s for charity, so I’m going to give it a go.

And if you are going to go ahead and help, go to the Movember site and register, get the confirmation email and navigate your way to the CANSA page

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I mean, you only have to look around the web at the moment to see who’s been moaning about it.  There have been winners, judges, non-nominees, and some non-bloggers have had their say too.  There were one or two pearler of posts and even a great video of Hitler not being invited to the event.  While I’m sure that a lot of the non-geeks would have no idea that all of this went on, and the blogging world is definitely a minority any way you look at it, but this will do nothing but shake things up.

Now, I don’t agree with all the things the 2010 organisers did, and how they managed everything, but, they did it.  They hosted the event.  They organised everything.  My only hope it that they do pull finger and learn for next year, where it needs to be a 3,000% success.  Never-the-less, congrats to all the winners and all involved to at least make the tequila taste good.

But the point is, with the way the Internet is in this country, as well as how small the grouping is, why the hell is everyone fighting?  Does it come from all the agencies where there is already a lot of tension? Why must there always be politics involved? Why can’t people graciously accept defeat when they were beaten and not bitch and moan?  Why does everyone’s ego get in the way?

Why can’t we all just get along…

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People are ruled by emotion.  They’re driven by anger, intimidation and sadness, but also by happiness, confidence and lust.  ?It’s what keeps us fresh and worth the talk and company.  Without the emotion you’re just a hairy ball of nothingness.  I, most certainly, write best in the throws of emotions.  It comes out quite clearly in the posts I compose and each post will centre around those themes that are automatically included.  For me, this seems to be much easier with the negative emotions, and now I sit with happiness and I’m seriously struggling.

Happiness is the second hardest topic for me to blog about only preceded by sex.  I can write maybe one post about it before it becomes repetitive.  And let’s be honest, unhappy people don’t like to read about happy people. Yet, they can always relate to the morbid and melancholy.  And despite this, happiness is the one thing man strives for.  And so, that’s the main reason why I haven’t blogged. Happiness has taken me.  That coupled with work and work and work, and new things and liking sleep.  It’s all come together quite nicely.

Why am I happy? I’ve started a couple of things to try bring in some extra income and that’s worked twice.  Work-work has been tough, but good – I’m slowly sorting out things that have taken far too long. I’ve removed all, if not most, of the things and people that bring me down in life.  And to top it all off, I’m seeing a girl that just simplifies everything.  And this, especially, makes me happy.

On the other side of the coin, I considered stopping this blogging thing.  I mean, I started blogging because of the place I was in.  I was a mess.  Broken.  And lying in a pile with the laundry.  Being able to write about everything helped me to a point I can not even begin to describe.  And now, that cycle has truly passed.  ?And to be honest, I’ve also received a few comments on the blog lately that really did bring me down.  Plus all the drama I’ve caused by just writing about me and what I’ve felt.  But talking to a couple of people at the SA Blog Awards last night: out of all the people that read the posts, only a couple felt this way enough to comment – And that’s not a bad number.  I even mentioned stopping to a couple of friends, but they told me I was being stupid in no uncertain terms.  And thinking about it more, it’s near impossible I’m going to stay like this forever.

So, I’ll stick by my guns.  If you don’t like it, don’t read it.  I’ve said it before, and I’m likely to say it again and again, but I write for me, not for you.  I post for me.  For my escape.  ?I’m not the best person to talk to let my things out, so I write.  And I love it.  If you do relate, and do like what I have to say, then even better.  Those negative comments mentioned “?If you believe all women want sensitive, emo boys you are wrong, we want a balance between strong, independent and masculine with caring, loving and romantic”.  ?But as I’ve said, we’re ruled by emotion, and that was all the emotion coming out in my posts.

In this drama-free life I’ve adopted, it’s very difficult to blog with all those other negative emotions, when you’re trying so hard to avoid them. ? But, I cant stop this blogging thing, it’s been too damn good to me.  But i have a plan, I just have to stop being so damn lazy, make some changes, and let’s see how this goes…

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I have had an overwhelming amount of messages today and I really appreciate it all. I’m not able to thank everyone, but please know I will be having a drink on you all tonight.

In this hectic time at the moment, I’ve had very little time to write, but hopefully it’ll calm down from tomorrow and I’ll be back to some form of interaction.

Never-the-less, as I said, I’m feeling great. The puzzle pieces are starting to finally take the correct shape and mould, but there are still so many still to find.

But for now, excuse me while I go have a drink…

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